A Letter To My Wife

Halloween became my favorite holiday when I was in college at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville. I didn’t know it would eventually be the holiday that brought you and me together.

October 31, 2015. I had never thrown a party in my entire life. I don’t even like that many people. However, my roommates and I agreed to throw a Halloween party. I invited pretty much everyone I talked to who lived in LA, and most of them came. Same result for one of my other roommates.

So picture me upstairs taking bathroom mirror selfies as my favorite Batman villain, the Riddler. I made a question mark using electrical tape on the back of this ugly green vest (Still pissed that Amazon sent me the wrong one). Didn’t matter. I looked fierce. And the batch of crunk nectar I made that night was even more potent than usual.

One of your friends happened to know my roommate, and she dragged you over to our place. You filmed me doing the “It’s Gonna Be Me Dance” for your Snapchat and must have been thinking, “Who the hell is this guy?” I remember meeting briefly and later drunkenly jamming out to “Better Man” by Pearl Jam courtesy of my 10-year-old iPod. Did I know I was interacting with my future wife? Ha, not even close.

We became Facebook friends the following day, and I remember seeing your actual face, which had been buried underneath Crow makeup the night before. Figured I’d shoot my shot. Ten days later, Taco Tuesday it was.

During our three-hour first date, I couldn’t stop thinking about two things.

1. You have the most gorgeous smile I’ve ever seen.
2. I can’t believe I bought nine tacos for less than $10.

I had no idea where this would lead, but the chemistry between us was undeniable. Five years later, we’re getting married on Halloween 2020. Also, I’m still working on my vows. Probably gonna use the taco joke, not gonna lie.

Marriage was something I never put a timetable on. And if I ever did get married, I wanted to do it My Way, Sinatra style. Then COVID-19 came along and dropped a fat deuce on our wedding plans.

Today’s ceremony is not going to be the wedding you’ve dreamt about since you were a little girl. I had no such dreams, but the wedding I had in my mind was gonna be so dope. Regardless, I don’t care at all at this point. It’s me and you. Simple as that.

Going through this ordeal has only brought us closer together. Reminds us that we’re the underdogs: us against the world. Like Scott Hall and Kevin Nash taking over the WCW as the Outsiders. I’ll explain that one later, but just know that it paved the way for Hollywood Hulk Hogan, and, in essence, our #HollywoodMoegans moniker.

The key to our relationship is unconditional love. Nothing ever truly breaks me down, because I know I have you. We have each other. Due to the strength of that bond, my mind has the freedom to focus on the things I’m passionate about in life. I’ll never take that for granted.

Many people are insanely nervous before their weddings. Oftentimes, it’s probably because they have a gut feeling they’re making the wrong choice. I guarantee I’m about to sleep like a baby.

I promise my vows won’t be this long-winded, but the sentiment will 100% be the same.

I’ve only known you for 5 years, but I’m so proud of the unbelievable strides you’ve made in your personal and professional lives. I hope we always strive to push each other to be better every day.

So when I see you at the gazebo (Sorry, I still haven’t even looked at pictures of the new venue. I think it’s in a gazebo, right? Definitely not an altar. Who knows? Who cares?), I’m ready to make it official.

Not that we need a ceremony and a certificate to validate our relationship, but I’m tired of having to hold down the “e” to get the accent in fiancée. We’ll be husband and wife. 4 Life.